Love and War

Why does she always floss her teeth that way. It drives me nuts! Why does he never think to close the dresser drawer? It drives me crazy!

Last night at Wednesdays Together during our marriage course, "Love and War," we took a lighthearted look at those little things about our spouse that drives us bonkers. However, rather than spending the evening nitpicking on those little annoyances, we looked at them from another angle.

First, these were the little things that we overlooked when we were young and in love. In fact, they may have been the very things that we found alluring. After all, opposites attract.

Second, over time, those pesky personality traits annoyed us and we thought it was our job to change our spouse. I will teach her the proper way to floss. I will nag him long enough so he remembers to close the drawers. That's my job! To fix him/her!

Third, we hit a major breakthrough in our relationships when we no longer see our job as the fixer. Instead, we look to our spouse as God way of transforming us. When we move from annoyance to tolerance to acceptance of those strange quirks in our spouse, then we become open to the Spirit's work of transformation of our heart.

Who has God put into your life with strange habits that bug you? Got someone in mind? Now ask yourself, "What is God trying to transform about me through this relationship?"

You might be surprised that you are the one who needs "fixing!"